Anger
understanding anger
Do you often feel out of control of your thoughts and feelings?
Do you find yourself losing your temper more often than you would wish?
Anger is a basic human response to pain and threat.
Alongside other primary emotions like happiness, sadness, fear and disgust, anger is neurobiologically deeply embedded and an essential part of our body's Fight, Flight, Freeze response which acts to ensure our survival.
Anger can be triggered by things in the outside world that we're aware of (tailgating, rudeness) and by upsetting associations and memories we've stored away and which remain unconscious (childhood experiences, trauma).
When anger
becomes a problem
If you experience a lot of 'flare ups' of anger, if people describe you as 'unpredictable' or perhaps sometimes seem apprehensive of you, you may have a problem regulating your response to anger triggers.
Anger becomes problematic when it's affecting your relationships with people as well as your inner sense of balance and life satisfaction.
Did you know that feeling regularly angry causes a heightened release of stress hormones?
The resulting chemical cascade in your body can eventually destroy brain cells responsible for essential mental tasks like judgement and reasoning as well as causing short-term memory loss.
Anger and stress can also lower your immunity to disease and illness.
If you're looking for a Brighton and Hove-based therapist to work with you on anger management and stress issues click here for a free-of-charge initial phone consultation or email me below:
where there's anger, there's pain
Counselling can help you to understand more about why you’re feeling as you do.
Therapy can also help you begin to distinguish between your original emotion which is always valid - pain - and your secondary response - angry or aggressive behaviours.
Often we learn our secondary responses to primary emotions when we’re younger.
Perhaps you had an angry parent or sibling.
Perhaps anger was a 'permitted' form of emotional expression whereas others, such as tears or withdrawal, were not.
Perhaps you were bullied or abused and felt so small and helpless that rage was your only way out.
Whatever the cause, your mind's capacity to adapt and change over the course of your entire lifetime means it’s never too late to learn how to cope in a healthier way with anger.
"Anger is a natural defence against pain. When someone says 'I hate you', they really mean 'You hurt me'"
So what now?
At Pathways Psychotherapy and Counselling in Brighton & Hove your first step will involve being listened to very carefully including how you're feeling deep down and how you feel anger is affecting you or those around you.
You will then learn how to notice the subtle differences between your feelings of hurt and anger and your secondary responses to these emotions.
The first one - the feeling - isn't something you need to try to change. Anger is an emotion, and emotions are never wrong.
It's the angry behaviours that follow which can require some attention - be these explosive outbursts, verbal or physical attacks, self-directed punishments, or silent, passive-aggressive withdrawals.
In therapy, you'll discover how to tell the difference between your deeper feelings and your outward behaviours. You'll also learn how to listen to and care for the wounded parts inside of you which keep feeling so hurt and upset.
Through counselling and psychotherapy you can get real, lasting help to understand your anger learn different ways of expressing it which don’t hurt others or yourself.
GET IN TOUCH
If you'd like any further information on Pathways Psychotherapy and Counselling in Brighton & Hove or if you'd like
to arrange a telephone consultation or book an appointment please get in touch by using this form or call me directly on 07590 506567